You thought you could own me, could break me and keep the pieces.
You thought that your honey covered words would entice me, leave me weak for the kill.
You thought that my strength was only skin deep, that it was yours to take and crumple into nothing.
You thought you could keep me your prisoner with pleas of how beautiful I was, how sweet, how special, how pale and fragile. How I needed to be kept from the world for only your eyes to see.
You thought that your manliness, your domineering would keep me there, locked in your room. Satisfied with petty compliments, with dreams of a future that was never going to happen.
You thought that because I was laughing that you had me.
I was laughing because i feared speaking too loudly would lead you to harming me more than you already had.
I was laughing so that when the moment came, I could escape.
I was laughing and moaning so that you wouldn’t suspect that I was terrified.
I was laughing so that my pretty face would deceive you to think that I was falling for your deceitful ploy to own me. So that you wouldn’t go any further, so that your tactics wouldn’t escalate to what I had seen they could, when you spoke, when you looked at me. When you called yourself an animal.
I was laughing so that I could stay sane.
I was laughing so that I could keep the parts of me that I have worked so fucking hard to glue back together into myself again, I kept them hidden far away from your slimy grasp. I kept them intact, despite your intentions.
I was laughing so that all you did was damage my body, so that the marks you left would be nothing but battle wounds in the war that I won.
I was laughing because I knew that this time I would win.